Following the previous post, the Bible is also very clear on
the helper role that a wife is supposed to play in the marriage
relationship. So what happens if your wife
has trouble playing the supporting role?
Here are some ideas to encourage your wife towards her God-given role:
1) Encourage her to be submissive by treating
her lovingly. It is easy for wives
to show love towards their husbands, but sometimes it is not so easy the other
way around. When your wife feels loved,
she will be more open to treating her husband with the respect he deserves.
(Eph. 5:25-33) Submission is an attitude
of respect so be someone that she can respect.
2) Ask her opinion and treat her thoughts with
value. If this is not something that
you routinely do, you will probably find that you have a wife that interjects
her opinion frequently. This opens up
the way for disputes and power struggles.
So when there is a weighty decision to be made, or even something of
less consequence that might cause your wife worry, ask her what she
thinks. Tell her that you will consider
all that she has to say. Remember that
God didn’t think that man should be alone and created a helper for him! (Gen.
2:18)
3) Listen carefully when she has concerns. There is nothing worse than a guy who comes
home and tunes out his wife. Chances are
she has been waiting to talk to you all day.
Maybe it’s serious, and maybe it’s not. If you make a point of listening
thoroughly about the small things (how she decided what to make for dinner, how
she managed to get the errands done, how her day was at work). Then when the big things arise, she will be
more likely to approach you sooner and know that she has your undivided
attention.
4) Ask her how you can be of help to her
today. If you have a wife who stays
home with the kids, then you know when you get home from work, the last thing
she wants is for you to mentally and physically check-out. She is exhausted too, from taking care of your
children or from working. Chances are
you aren’t the only one who has had a busy day, so take a few minutes and ask
her how you can help. If you invest in
her physical and mental well-being, she will most likely return the favor. This can only be a good thing! (Prov. 18:22)
5) Make good decisions so that she will trust
your judgment. This point weighs on
the husbands alone. If you want her to “let
you” make decisions, then make good ones.
If you don’t give her a reason to doubt you, then she won’t. This is how we operate with our children…we
aren’t so unlike that at times!
6) Pray for her. Again, if your wife knows that you are
invested in her emotionally, physically, and in this case, spiritually, she is
going to appreciate you. God can help
husbands be better leaders and He can also help us guide our wives into their
helper role. (Ecc. 4:9-12)
You know, before we got married about eight years ago, I
remember thinking how much I loved my wife’s headstrong personality. I still do.
I love that she can be independent, I love that she is capable of
thinking for herself, and I love that she can multitask unlike any other. But as the leadership role is mine and not
hers, it has definitely set us up for difficulty at times. But she has encouraged me along the way to
make sure that I am being the leader and not forcing her into that
position. It’s interesting when you
think about it that way. I guess it just
goes to show you that the marriages roles are not independent of one another,
but interdependent. God sure did know
what He was doing!
Prayer: God, help us
husbands to be good leaders in our families so that we can encourage our wives
in their roles as help meets. Help us to
treat our wives with great value, so as to build our marriages into stronger
ones.
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