Unity

This topic has been on my mind for a while, but I wasn't sure how to approach it until the other day. I think that when you think of marriage, it automatically implies "unity" and yet the divorce rate in our country is so high because somewhere along the way, couples fail to see eye-to-eye, to compromise, and to keep their eye on a common goal. God says...

"If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand." Mark 3:25

I made a list of areas where I think we must be unified, for if not, it stands to do serious damage to your house. I will cover these in general, and then we will study each one more in depth in future posts.

1.) Marriage is a lifetime commitment. Mark 10:9 says "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Many people enter marriage now with "let's see if we can make this work" instead of a "let's MAKE this work" philosophy. Marriage is no longer sacred and unique, but something we can do over and over again as many times as we want to. God is clear that He meant to UNITE a man and woman in marriage forever and they weren't to separate! If this statement wasn't brought out and agreed upon by you and your spouse (or future spouse) when you got married...work to make a commitment together to do what it takes to have a marriage that God intended.

2.) Parenting and discipline. Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go,
even when he is old he will not depart from it." Nathan and I talked extensively about this before we got married. Thank goodness we see eye-to-eye, but yet in the moment, we may still differ. We did make one commitment to one another, that we will at the very least appear unified to our children and hash out our own issues on our own time. We made an agreement to become unified in the raising of our children no matter what! If we don't, it doesn't just harm us, but our children! We want our children to become Christians and we don't want to be their "excuse" for not doing so! "Parent" your children to Heaven!

3.) Finances. Hebrews 13:5 says "Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU” . This is the single-most common reason for divorce in the world. Some are too tight and some are too free with their money and neither option is good! God expects us to be good stewards of our money, and usually your spouse does too! We will discuss some strategies to get a good financial plan in place in a future post.

4.) Sex. 1 Corinthians 7:5 says "Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." A touchy subject, but so true. God made sex to be enjoyed in marriage and if you both aren't committed to meeting each others needs in this area...it can truly harm your marriage! It is important to work together to maintain a healthy sexual relationship because if you don't, your spouse could be tempted to fulfill this need elsewhere. As the verse above says, don't let Satan tempt you!

5.) Religion. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?" It can be a very dangerous thing to be married to someone who doesn't share your same beliefs. It may be someone who doesn't believe at all or just believes differently. This can then send mixed messages to a spouse who wants to drink and the other does not, a spouse who believes in spanking and discipline and the other does not, or a spouse who believes it is okay to be flirtatious with someone of the opposite sex when the other is devoted. If you are what Christ intended a Christian to be, it's not just a religion, but a way of life. Where should your spouse fit in?

I have seen multiple marriages in trouble because of a lack of unity in one or many of these areas. For some, they have been dealing with these problems for years and for some it is just starting. For the ones who stick it out because they "have to" and don't deal with it willingly as God commands, they end up in a miserable relationship with a spouse they barely know. Why would you settle for that? Who wants to be miserable? I truly believe that it is never too late, but it takes a commitment by both spouses and being unified towards a common goal to make it work. If your one goal is Heaven, then how is your marriage glorifying God today? Think about it.