30 Days of Encouraging Your Husband
Imagine going 30 days without saying anything negative about your husband. This video is very interesting! I highly recommend you take 20 minutes of your time to watch this.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Making Time for your Marriage
This post seems approprite given the new and exciting addition to our family, and the subtraction of time for one another!
We had lots of great ideas, having already had one kiddo, on how to keep the flame lit under our marriage, how to not let us go too long without a date night, how to keep the lines of communication open, etc. Well, a few months of little sleep, sick kids, extra work hours can do a number on your marriage without you even realizing it!
It starts as something small...you get a little irritated at something that was said, or a pair of socks left on the floor, or your spouse just didn't say "how was your day?" soon enough after walking in the door. No one talks about it. Both parties keep getting more irritable until one day you have a knock-down, drag-out fight and you really aren't even for sure why you are fighting.
1 Corinthians 7:5 says "Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
Yes, in this context, the verse is referring to sexual relations with your spouse. But let's be honest wives...after you've had a baby or after a long day at home without help, this is the LAST thing on your mind. Wives need some mental and emotional support too, probably even more than the need for sexual intimacy with their husbands.
If this is lacking in a marriage, may we suggest that it is extremely important that you find a way to be intimate with your spouse in some other fashion and by mutual consent, as the Bible suggests. I had a friend who said to me "I've just been so busy with my baby (who was about six months at this time) that I just don't have time for my husband. Hopefully after she's one, I'll work on getting that back on track." Yikes!!!
Most husbands don't appreciate being separated like that for long periods of time, and unfortunately, they often won't admit it. When they do, are you, wives, quick to dismiss him with how long and hard your day has been? Husbands, do you spend time meeting your wives needs for emotional connection with you when you are home and present? Or are you mentally checked out after a long day at work or too busy playing on your Iphone to see how much your wife needs you?
We must be in a constant state of wondering what we can do for our spouses. If you don't know, then ask. Many wives expect their husbands to read their minds. I've got news for you... this is impossible! I haven't met a husband yet who is a mind reader. Husbands can often be driven by a quick mood of spontaneity, whereas the wives often have their days planned out in order to keep their sanity! Each of these scenarios can be a recipe for disaster in your marriage!
The verse above also states that when you are apart from your spouse physically, that you are still achieving the mental and emotional intimacy that accompanies prayer. Your lines of communication with the Most High are open, as should they be with your spouse!
The verse also warns of the dangers of not being intimate with one another...Satan enters the picture and self-control can be lost. This could take many forms...adultery, excessive fighting, abuse, tempers with children, addictions, etc. The lack of self-control can lead to sin, and if you want to see your spouse in Heaven, you should be doing everything in your power to keep them from this!
So the point is, make time for one another, to meet each other's physical/emotional needs for intimacy. Someone once said to me "the kids will still be there...but if you don't pay attention to the needs of your spouse, he may not." Very wise counsel, in my opinion. Now, excuse me while I go make some dinner reservations...
Prayer: Lord, help us all to make time in our marriages to reconnect on a regular basis. Help us to keep the lines of communication open with one another. Let us meet each other's needs daily so the devil doesn't have any opportunities to creep into our marriages.
We had lots of great ideas, having already had one kiddo, on how to keep the flame lit under our marriage, how to not let us go too long without a date night, how to keep the lines of communication open, etc. Well, a few months of little sleep, sick kids, extra work hours can do a number on your marriage without you even realizing it!
It starts as something small...you get a little irritated at something that was said, or a pair of socks left on the floor, or your spouse just didn't say "how was your day?" soon enough after walking in the door. No one talks about it. Both parties keep getting more irritable until one day you have a knock-down, drag-out fight and you really aren't even for sure why you are fighting.
1 Corinthians 7:5 says "Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
Yes, in this context, the verse is referring to sexual relations with your spouse. But let's be honest wives...after you've had a baby or after a long day at home without help, this is the LAST thing on your mind. Wives need some mental and emotional support too, probably even more than the need for sexual intimacy with their husbands.
If this is lacking in a marriage, may we suggest that it is extremely important that you find a way to be intimate with your spouse in some other fashion and by mutual consent, as the Bible suggests. I had a friend who said to me "I've just been so busy with my baby (who was about six months at this time) that I just don't have time for my husband. Hopefully after she's one, I'll work on getting that back on track." Yikes!!!
Most husbands don't appreciate being separated like that for long periods of time, and unfortunately, they often won't admit it. When they do, are you, wives, quick to dismiss him with how long and hard your day has been? Husbands, do you spend time meeting your wives needs for emotional connection with you when you are home and present? Or are you mentally checked out after a long day at work or too busy playing on your Iphone to see how much your wife needs you?
We must be in a constant state of wondering what we can do for our spouses. If you don't know, then ask. Many wives expect their husbands to read their minds. I've got news for you... this is impossible! I haven't met a husband yet who is a mind reader. Husbands can often be driven by a quick mood of spontaneity, whereas the wives often have their days planned out in order to keep their sanity! Each of these scenarios can be a recipe for disaster in your marriage!
The verse above also states that when you are apart from your spouse physically, that you are still achieving the mental and emotional intimacy that accompanies prayer. Your lines of communication with the Most High are open, as should they be with your spouse!
The verse also warns of the dangers of not being intimate with one another...Satan enters the picture and self-control can be lost. This could take many forms...adultery, excessive fighting, abuse, tempers with children, addictions, etc. The lack of self-control can lead to sin, and if you want to see your spouse in Heaven, you should be doing everything in your power to keep them from this!
So the point is, make time for one another, to meet each other's physical/emotional needs for intimacy. Someone once said to me "the kids will still be there...but if you don't pay attention to the needs of your spouse, he may not." Very wise counsel, in my opinion. Now, excuse me while I go make some dinner reservations...
Prayer: Lord, help us all to make time in our marriages to reconnect on a regular basis. Help us to keep the lines of communication open with one another. Let us meet each other's needs daily so the devil doesn't have any opportunities to creep into our marriages.
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