Proverbs 22:6 says "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." So how do children learn "the way they should go"? It should be from the godly examples, training and discipline received from their parents. Paul commended Timothy for his faith that he had observed first in his mother and grandmother. "I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also." (2 Timothy 1:5)
Did you ever wonder if you were ready to have children? Someone once told me that I would never be ready, no matter how much preparation I did because children change your lives forever! It doesn't matter how many parenting books you read, how much advice you receive, or how much help you get...your child is going to rock your world! Even though I do agree with that statement, I do believe that we should be prepared in the type of approach you want to take as a parent.
Psalm 127:3 says "Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward."
When you are considering having children are you thinking:
-Hopefully you both want to have children. Not being committed to this thought together may lead to problems and laziness down the road.
-How many children do you want?
-Are you prepared to deal with miscarriage? Loss of a child?
- What if you have the inability to conceive? How you do feel about artificial methods of conception such as artificial insemination or invitro fertilization? How much financially could you handle if you chose one of these options?
-Are you prepared to deal with a child with disability?
-Would you ever consider adoption?
-Can you financially support having children?
-Is your marriage strong and rooted firmly on the ROCK?
All these questions are important to discuss and answer before you consider having children. I have known several couples that have needed fertility treatments or opted for artificial methods in their hopes of having a child. I have known several couples that haven't been able to conceive that have adopted children. I had a friend once whose world was rocked with the birth of her son with Down's Syndrome, and a family member born with spina bifida. Our family went through the loss of a miscarriage in October 2008.
All these different variables can already impact your marriage before a child even arrives! When your children get here, how do you feel about:
-Sleeping arrangements?
-Extra help needed around the house or distribution of chores?
-Women working outside the home?
-Childcare?
-How much television your children watch and what's on?
-Public school vs. home school?
-Drinking and smoking? (Hopefully these are a no-no from a health and moral implication)
The other big point is discipline. Discipline will be a foundation for the behaviors that you find acceptable and unacceptable in your children. Many parents take a laid-back approach to parenting and let kids explore and figure things out on their own. They are more interested in being friendly with their children than "training" (Prov. 22:6) them and providing them with a good moral compass. If our children are never exposed to a standard, and in this case, God's standard, then how do we expect them to know what is right and what is wrong?
I'm sure no one wants to see their children grow up and not become Christians. I'm sure no one wants to even fathom their child in a fiery eternity. We must be responsible for teaching our children and leading them in the right way so when they are grown they "will not depart from it"! Here is what the Bible says about discipline...it speaks for itself!
Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.
Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.
Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. My son, if your heart is wise, my heart too will be glad.
The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
